Nicky's Nuggets to Real Life Stress
Recently, I posted this Soul Advice on my Facebook page and it seemed to resonate with quite a bit of people. "We all like to appear strong and independent. The truth is, though, that true strength is always found in recognizing when you need a little help, and then asking for it. We all need a hand sometimes. Even if you're worried that the world will judge, understand that nearly everyone is struggling inside-and that the only ones who judge are envious that you had the guts to be first."
I think I've always been the person who asked for help, but I would ask my younger sisters,lol. I am not afraid to ask and on occasion it did turn out chaotic due to judgments. The thing is though, until we walk in another's shoes it is probably best to come from a place of compassion and open to understanding if it's possible rather than judging others. Some folks cannot help their instinct to judge and do not really care that their beliefs may be misleading them. It is a known fact that at some point in one's life they will face a challenge that weighs heavy and the weight becomes known their struggle. For some it's relationships, for others it's money, for some it's time, mental health, food, whatever it is, it's one persons struggle.
I challenge you to come from a place of "hmmm, I wonder what I could help that person with today because I know they must have a battle that they are fighting too because we all do". Let us for one moment stop being envious of others, stop thinking that the grass is greener, or you want to be like so and so when we grow up.
Be honest with yourself about the biggest challenge you face and then start putting out your feelers as to what ways you can ask for help. Maybe it's more education about a topic, maybe it's talking with others about it, but whatever you do, come from a place of power instead of a place of victim. You are overcoming this day by day and your first step is to acknowledge that you are not perfect and neither is the person next to you. If you hold your problem in and do not ever ask for help then you can't blame others for moving in a positive direction to rid their days of the pain.
Today, I send you peace and compassion for those around you, more understanding that a person is asking for help usually as a last resort, but perhaps you can be proactive and ask that person if there is anything that you may help another person with. Maybe you have the resource that they've been praying for.
StressLessSecrets & Blessings
The word "panic" comes from the Greek mythology "Pan". Pan was a goat/man who would hide in the woods and secretly scare those walking the trail by shaking the trees and would keep doing as the person would walk faster until they panicked and ran away. Pan got a kick out of these tricks. The folks who panicked and got scared never returned to the woods.
Panic often causes us to think irrationally, negatively, and catastrophically. As a person susceptible to stress, noises tend to startle me as well and I can only imagine that I would have been the one running far away too. Using my signature GPS System to keep moving I would have returned and been more prepared to overcome Pan and his shenanigans. Maybe I would not have gone back to those woods, but would have gone back for a walk to be with nature and been prepared for bushes to be shaken. I would recognize the physical symptoms coming on, the thoughts that I had when the sounds got faster and faster, and the responses that seemed automatic.
The thing about panic is that it is contagious. When a person experiences high anxiety they keep attracting dramatic events that tend to be coming down upon us. Things that happen out of the blue and until the root is pulled out or the thoughts are taken control of it will continue to be a vicious cycle for those all around you. We often self-sabotage our self or those around us with this catastrophic way of thinking and feeling. Once you can gain control, you can then see things from a different perspective and become more grounded.
Stop Pan from chasing you out of the woods by doing the following:
1) Write down the negative events that seemed to unfold as a result of your fears.
2) Rewrite them to be a positive learning experience.
3) Arm yourself with support, technology, back up plans to keep you feeling in control of your thoughts.
4) Suddenly the situation diffuses and it appears to be just like magic. The tides turn and the breeze blows just to cool you off instead of to destroy.
5) Let that past go, focus on being in your present, and prepared for the future, knowing that you can and will learn from everything.
Nothing is a waste, nothing is too painful to learn from, and nothing is permanent. You can and will change your point of view and what you choose to run away from.
Book your StressLessSecrets Session email@example.com
This past Saturday, I was blessed to conduct StressLessSecretsMoney Bootcamp which is a prequel to StressLessSecrets Retreat 2018 Survivor Series. The attendees were awesome and so open to learning the content that I was able to share with them. Normally, I would celebrate or just head back and prop my feet up until whenever. It seems as though all of the things that my Coach, Kate, has been teaching me for the past 5 years is finally producing some of it's crop. I celebrated and then got back to taking more consistent action to keep the message from my mess flowing.
One of the attendees told us that she had read a post and really couldn't remember who it was from, but thought it was me since I had brought it up again. She stated that Facebook post was regarding the message of viewing bills as blessings and GETS to pay them instead of HAVING to pay them. I had no idea a) that she read it, b) that she implemented it, and c) that it was such a huge shift and she was so thankful.
So today I give you 5 reasons why you should not quit (or celebrate too long):
1) Because what you have to say is so important to someone. Maybe you need to give the world time to come forward and speak up, maybe you won't hear the words from a stranger, but you have to believe that what you have put out there is impacting someone positively because it is!
2) Just when you want to quit, you dig deeper and the desire becomes an obsession. An obsessive desire makes one UNSTOPPABLE, UNSHAKABLE.
3) Time is going to pass and so what would you rather say: "I had all of the reason, the obstacles, the challenges, the justifications to quit, but I DIDN'T and my crops are producing:" or "I dug up all of the garden to try and replant at some other time". In the meantime your back starts to hurt from the heavy loads you've been carrying called regret.
4) Your subconscious needs time to catch up to your conscious. You underestimated how long it would take and so what if your investment hasn't shown a full return yet. When you decide that you are ready to put out as much as you can and stop making excuses, it's going to seem like a magical button was pressed and everything is falling into place. If you quit when you got tired instead of accepting that you are choosing to slow down or hitting roadblocks called resistance then you will never get another penny on that investment. Slowing down is much better than quitting because you can always pick up speed when you're ready.
5) You will not be able to learn the hard stuff and teach others if you quit. There is greatness in the pain so focus on coming out of that storm stronger than ever.
Schedule your StressLessSecrets Session with me today.
The power of focus only happens when your desire is an obsession. Where does that kind of desire come from? The belief that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and are ready to have a different outcome in life. Does it mean that it will happen overnight? Absolutely not. Does it mean that all of the other times you were sick and tired, found a resource, had hope, then it was a let down will happen again? Maybe, but does it mean that you should stop and settle for the pain that you've been experiencing? NO
The power of focus that I am talking about comes with persistence and when you are truly, truly ready to see things from a different perspective then you are ready to obsess on that desire. You see desire comes from either so much pain that you do not ever want to go through that again or from it feeling so good that you want to do it again.
My niece used to make us sing "Happy Birthday" twice. We got so used to her proclaiming "do it again" that now that she is older we say "do it again" and sing twice. It felt so good to sing it again because we brought joy to her, to the birthday person, and to ourselves. So that's the power of focus. It changes the course permanently.
Take money for instance. If you went through a period of time where you had no income, no real way to pay your bills, yet you survived, but you aren't where you want to be yet, then you will make different spending choices and re-prioritize. Perhaps the pain of being in that place is not something that you want to repeat again and so you then have obsessive desire to feel more prepared. Another example is that you lost your home in a natural disaster, while insurance shopping you make sure that you are covered to live elsewhere financially. These are the things that cause pain strong enough to reset your desires and priorities.
From all of these financial hardships you then become an expert in credit reporting, money and debt management, cash lifestyle, paying credit cards in full each and every month, etc. Your desire to help others not go through what you went through turns into a profitable passion. These are the types of obsessive desires I am talking about. The type that not only changes you, but others in the world too.
This is exactly what happened to me. I am on a mission to learn everything that I can about living in a prosperity mindset instead of a poverty mindset. The School of Hard Knocks has laid a few lessons on my journey and for that I am eternally grateful and blessed.
Join me for StressLesSecretsMoney Bootcamp to gain access to the obsessive desire for yourself.
Today, I posted this status after having one of the many all too familiar conversations with someone feeling the money stress and not knowing about a lot of the possible solutions out there.
"Just about everyone has a complicated relationship with money. Studies show that money is the no. 1 reason for divorce in the early years of marriage and a common area of conflict for couples. Even before the recession, 3 out of 4 Americans identified money as the no. 1 source of stress in their lives."
I cannot tell you how many of my clients have money stress as their number 1 source (so they think anyway). Because of my own life journey and extensive education with regards to this topic, I find it easy to teach the practical action for you to take to stressless. I have been blessed with a wealth of experience, resources, and many solutions to problems that many people have no idea even exists. I also, do not want anyone to experience the hard knocks that I learned from these either. That's why I am so passionate about teaching other BossMomas that you don't have to keep borrowing from Peter to pay Paul or have crappy credit.
"Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so". So if there's anything that you should know about me is that I am an eternal optimist which sometimes leads to the belief that I will be able to pay things back when I say I will and then plot twists happen, things fall through or take much longer than I could have ever planned for. My faith is my most powerful weapon that serves good and well bad is also good because I get to learn and be better prepared in the future. If you are feeling bad about old debt, thinking that people think that you don't pay your bills, or some other money challenge, then take a deep breath and know this is just part of your journey, but it is not the end. You will not be eternally labeled as such. God has already paid your debts and now day by day the right action to clearing up the remnants of your old choices will be revealed to take.
There is a solution to your problem.
Book your StressLessSecrets Session or Inquire about Money Bootcamp Part 1 August 2018.
I define "Leader" as one who has faced or faces many trials in life and yet gets up with a smile and hope. One who will lift others, encourage others, reassures others, and goes with the flow, will always sit at the front of the class if they know they get distracted easily, and will let the teacher know if they have something on their face so the other kids don't laugh at the teacher, They are a positive thinker, care deeply about others, and care more about the "go" than the "show".
Leaders don't travel to brag about their lavish vacation, but instead use it to create and connect with others that they would have never otherwise met. They learn a different way of life and bring back some of those experiences to not only enhance their lives, but those around them.
Here's the catch about leaders, they are often sorely and sadly misunderstood. They carry the weight of the world and the family on their shoulders and often do not tell a soul about their challenges. Often times the challenges are not even known until the problem and disappointment surfaces, maybe a wee late, but it's not a problem that is ever too big to be solved. Leaders do have down days, days where they just don't think they can keep going and will have a breakdown, but then suddenly they rise up and push faster, harder, stronger. They breakthrough the barrier and overcome their greatest fear day by day. Sometimes the fears cause so much procrastination that they get stuck in a cycle of paying attention to others so that they cannot pay attention to themselves. To Be Continued, but for now do any of these sound like you?
Are you a Leader?
If so, start identifying the ways that you anchor yourself in the morning.
Share with me your rituals.
Sign up for your StressLessSecrets Session right now by emailing "I'm a Leader" to firstname.lastname@example.org. This code is equivalent to a 100% savings of your StressLessSecrets Session.
Thanks for reading, sharing, and as always you can either be too blessed to be stressed or choose to be too stressed to be blessed.
StressLessSecrets Retreat October 16-18-, 2018 Lafayette, LA www.stresslesssecrets.com
Have you ever wanted something for so long and you thought that when the thing happened you'd be ecstatic? Right before that thing happened you stayed in faith, were patient, frustrated, felt left out of life, had breakdowns, and then each time the breakdowns showed up you thought you were much closer than ever before? Right before you got to that thing the breakdowns came quicker and quicker and you wandered where was the happy, upbeat, positive person you knew and why did you have another breakdown 2 days later? The win arrives and you feel so like "that's it?" Are you serious? I waited this long for this? Well most people do react to major life events with such fear that the happiness and celebrations cannot even happen.
Here are a couple of examples: I once heard this young adult and an older gentleman talking about the woman's first credit card that she got that day. He had a look of "oh boy" while trying to seem happy for her, and she was so thrilled. I thought to myself, (from my personal experience and a great deal of my clients who seek money freedom), I wonder if she will feel the same when the bill comes in? Will she still feel proud to be considered responsible, trusted, granted when the bills become more than she anticipated? How long will this feeling of excitement and gratitude go on for this company who did express a lot to her and it's now her chance to prove that to them.
Another example is: you save up for your "dream house" which becomes the house that fits in your budget and the bank says you can afford, you get that house and then a sinking feeling hits...what have I done? My mobile home was only $200/month or honey, we could just stay at my parents another few years, or now the fun begins with the remodeling bills and checks to write.
This list could go on and on. It's always the anticipation of the trip, the wedding, the graduation, that causes us the most stress and the most pain at the same time. You might see this happen a lot in lives or days of those who are highly competitive folks. The reply to me when they say I thought I would feel more than this and it's just like "nothing, that's it, I don't mean to seem ungrateful or spoiled, but I just thought it would be more". "Help me get through this so I don't wish it away and then something bad happens".
Well it may appear that they are faking the joy because can you only really celebrate with 30 other teammates jumping up and down, but you get home and all of the hard work now sends you into a grieving process? The truth is that patience tends to exhaust our emotions with having hopes, dreams, fears, frustrations, and lots of other highs and lows from one day to another. Particularly, when you've been waiting for so long for this thing to be resolved. The facts remain that you are never finished and it's never done. Yes, it's awesome to have a vision with an intention of how you want to feel, but do not beat yourself up for not being as happy as you think that you should be. Allow yourself to think "is this it? what else is there to life? , why am I always let down?
You are let down because you believed that thing would make you feel more respected, more trusted, more responsible, more of whatever your deepest desire is. A resolve that results in instant gratification will only fulfill the moment, but appreciating the long journey and being persistent will fulfill your heart.
StressLessSecrets-Pick something small to be considered your win for the day, your win for the project, your win for the case, your win along the journey. The Small & Something way of life will reduce your stress, give you more confidence, and raise your happiness level. With your hand on your heart, repeat....just for this moment I choose to to truly feel so blessed and loved. Happiness lives in my heart, just for today. Isn't it wonderful to have enjoyed the highs and lows of whatever the thing is?
Let me know how you feel when you put the StressLessSecret into practice (just for this moment).
Sign up for your StressLessSecrets Session right now by emailing "I'm a Winner" to email@example.com. This code is equivalent to a 100% savings of your StressLessSecrets Session.
Thanks for reading, sharing, and as always you can either be too blessed to be stressed or choose to be too stressed to blessed.
StressLessSecrets Retreat October 16-18-, 2018 Lafayette, LA www.stresslesssecrets.com
Stress Managment Life Coach