StressLessSecrets
Motivational Messages that will Shift You From
People Pleasing
to Your Very Own Super-Power
People Pleasing
to Your Very Own Super-Power
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12/11/2018 0 Comments My Cell is About to Die...g2gb
The cell phone battery is nearly dead! I gotta go, bye aka g2gb! OMGSH panic starts and where's the charger? As silly as that seems this is only one way that our Fear of Loss of Love shows up. If the battery dies then how will my loved ones get in touch with me (hello, you probably just tossed the actual human aside anyway to save the life of the batter), how will I answer immediately if my boss calls or text, how will I be the go-to person when my friend calls in need, or how will the call that I've been waiting for finally come in?
Other ways this fear of loss of love may show is not getting into relationships in the first place, clinging to those that you love so much that you nearly suffocate them, throwing others under the bus to side with the person who you fear losing their love most, and many, many other ways not listed here. On an extreme side of this fear other relationships will be destroyed just to ensure that the one you seek approval from is fulfilled. The fear of being abandoned by some leads to the price tag that one will be forced to pick sides. There will be a tug-o-war between strained relationships when one feels their love has been rejected or diminished. There may be challenges throughout families until someone says, enough of this, both of you kiss and make-up. This fear of loss of love is real, but can be lessened with confidence building skills and a sense of purpose/direction. Get out there and love as much as you can, but love yourself first then your cup will overflow without much effort. Keep your phone charged too to avoid experiencing the fear of it dying :) If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater. unknown Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life. Merle Shain StressLessSecrets & Blessings, <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets
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Recently, I read a Facebook status regarding how quick people are to condemn. The fact is, most of us have probably been guilty of doing it to others as well as receiving it from others. It is not fun either way. It is a challenge that many of us face in life and since Fear of Criticism is one of the 6 Basic Fears that we operate from, we are likely to attract this to our lives at least once in our life.
However, with increased emotional intelligence, faith, and spiritual maturity you can and will start responding to this differently. You are much more powerful when you can come from a place of: condemnations do not anger you, you do not have to defend yourself everywhere that you go, hiding from society if rumors are going around about you, having to apologize for your beliefs, actions, or blame games that you resorted to as a reaction. One of the most incredible feelings is not that you skate through life never being condemned or criticized, but instead to be able to understand why the other person went to that place anyway. Some of the challenges that I faced with this topic taught me that I am at the place in my journey where I do not get angry with others when they choose this reaction, but instead understand why they made the choices, actions, and path that they chose. How freeing it is to be condemned and still have compassion for that person. Does it mean that I allow them to do it repeatedly or that I am Mother Teresa? Absolutely not. It just means that no matter where I am or where they are, I am at peace. I do not feel anger towards another who chooses this reaction, but instead have a deep understanding that is the only thing they knew at the time. Yes, I have been on both ends. I used to get angry and stop talking to the other person when they falsely accused me of something or got mad at me for something that they believed I did. I also still have a ways to go with the way that I choose to handle hearing some of the things people point their fingers at me for, but my first response now is to come from a place of seeing ways that they could have gone to that place anyways. I choose to make peace no matter where I go. It is not my job to get anyone to see if from my side, but for me to see it from another person's side. That's my response. What's yours? Do not feel bad if you aren't there yet, but feel great that you do not have to stay there. Now that you know there is a better, happier, more peaceful way to deal with finger pointers then you can be more prepared for the challenges that you may face along your journey. It's sometimes better to learn about this when this isn't your issue right now, but the most effective transformation will happen if this is exactly what you are experiencing in your own journey. “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”– Dale Carnegie “Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.”– Neil Gaiman “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”– Benjamin Franklin StressLessSecrets & Blessings, <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets 11/27/2018 0 Comments 5 Questions that Find Solutions
To every problem there is already a solution whether you know it or not. Grenville Kleiser I have no idea who Grenville Kleiser is, but brainyquote said that the above quote is something that he said. I guess I could do a google search later, but for now, here's what I want you to know...I do know there HAS TO BE A SOLUTION.
Often times we are so focused on the problems that we are facing or possible results that we do not want that we forget to focus on the solution or the something better that will arise from what we do want. When you have a problem and YOU WILL, ask yourself the following questions: What's my plan if... What can I use to get... Where will I put that... What will I get if... Who will I be if... The answers just might lead you to a solution and if the solution is not evident right now, you will at least have changed your focus which shifts your vibration and allows better things to come your way. StressLessSecrets & Blessings <3 -N- NIcky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets 11/20/2018 0 Comments Be Careful Who You Do This in Front Of
Our subconscious is made up a zillion little versions of ourselves. One of the best way to counter perceived pain, scarcity of not being enough, fear of criticism, and many other negative dialogues that we tell ourselves is to tell ourselves more positives by using conscious action. Pick any of the following affirmations, put your hand over your heart, and repeat your choice at least 5 times today. Rinse and repeat daily. (preferably the first thing when you wake up and the last thing before you go to sleep) I am important I am smart I am a good friend I am kind I am loving I am grateful for my body I am brave I am courageous I am a good listener I focus well I have come a long way I get better every single day Today is a great day I enjoy new adventures Be careful who you do this in front of though and if you do it before checking the folks around you have this response handy, "Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice". StressLessSecrets & Blessings <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets At my core of existence is people pleasing, but that did not serve me positively for the most part. It caused a lot of stress, anxiety, decisions that went against my values and beliefs, and some other negative emotions/experiences. However, I have recently proclaimed to the world that my super-power from that core is PEACE-MAKER. That has been one of the greatest freedoms that I have given myself and those around me. If you are a people-pleaser at your core then here are a couple of quotes that do not try to make you change who you are, but own the superpower that has grown from it. The other types of super-powers are: Nurturer, Revolutionary, and Uplifter. As promised, here is your motivation.
“You're going to make it; You're going to be at peace; You're going to create, and love, and laugh, and live; You're going to do great things.” ― Germany Kent and “Raise your vibration, Not your tone of voice.. You gain inspiration, For Peace is a choice.” ― Ana Claudia Antunes, StressLessSecrets & Blessings <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets - 10/22/2018 0 Comments Wow, It's been a month already Wow, it's been a month already, but let me tell you what I have been up to. I wrote and launched a book, Anchored for Freedom, recreated version 2 of "Too Busy to Breathe", got the money freedom planner printed, 2019 journals released, and held my favorite event of the year(StressLessSecrets Retreat 2018). This has truly been an amazing month and the best is yet to come. I am enjoying this journey so much and actually have started welcoming the break downs because they always lead me to clarity and freedom of the subconscious roots that have been tangled up instead of producing fruit. So, here's what I learned by not blogging for the past month...I really do miss sharing what wisdom I have gained on a regular basis and next year at this time I will have some done ahead of time so that I do not lose touch with you. It's so important for me to keep telling you hello and sharing some of my StressLessSecrets. Life is too short to stress, but for many of us we cannot help it. We are carrying fears from generations back and operating at this level on a massive scale. The attendees who were present at the Retreat were really able to identify how those beliefs were showing up in their lives. Some were even able to put the missing piece in their businesses together which will boost their sales even more. Our lives are like a puzzle, but often times there are many missing pieces. The one thing that I heard over and over from my clients who shared their success stories were the beliefs they had that it was business coaching that they needed and then shortly thereafter they realized what I was really teaching them was more about them than their businesses. It has been all about themselves and becoming a more powerful version of them. We are our business and if we aren't growing then neither is our business. In fact, I revealed a clarity/contrast list that showed when you are working on one the opposite will show up somewhere if you are not careful with balancing the focus. I do not claim to be perfect or free of stress, but I do know that no matter what comes my way I am blessed, I am powerful, I am valuable, I am committed, I am protected, and I am going to keep moving. I am going to keep growing, I am going to honor my vision and word. Everything does eventually work out for me and for my clients. Commitment is the key to responding and desire is the key to stressless. The thing is that if you are stressed, worried, and lacking then you cannot be having fun, free, and abundant. StressLessSecrets & Blessings <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets Get your signed copy of "Anchored for Freedom" today. 9/19/2018 0 Comments Ask for HelpRecently, I posted this Soul Advice on my Facebook page and it seemed to resonate with quite a bit of people. "We all like to appear strong and independent. The truth is, though, that true strength is always found in recognizing when you need a little help, and then asking for it. We all need a hand sometimes. Even if you're worried that the world will judge, understand that nearly everyone is struggling inside-and that the only ones who judge are envious that you had the guts to be first."
I think I've always been the person who asked for help, but I would ask my younger sisters,lol. I am not afraid to ask and on occasion it did turn out chaotic due to judgments. The thing is though, until we walk in another's shoes it is probably best to come from a place of compassion and open to understanding if it's possible rather than judging others. Some folks cannot help their instinct to judge and do not really care that their beliefs may be misleading them. It is a known fact that at some point in one's life they will face a challenge that weighs heavy and the weight becomes known their struggle. For some it's relationships, for others it's money, for some it's time, mental health, food, whatever it is, it's one persons struggle. I challenge you to come from a place of "hmmm, I wonder what I could help that person with today because I know they must have a battle that they are fighting too because we all do". Let us for one moment stop being envious of others, stop thinking that the grass is greener, or you want to be like so and so when we grow up. Be honest with yourself about the biggest challenge you face and then start putting out your feelers as to what ways you can ask for help. Maybe it's more education about a topic, maybe it's talking with others about it, but whatever you do, come from a place of power instead of a place of victim. You are overcoming this day by day and your first step is to acknowledge that you are not perfect and neither is the person next to you. If you hold your problem in and do not ever ask for help then you can't blame others for moving in a positive direction to rid their days of the pain. Today, I send you peace and compassion for those around you, more understanding that a person is asking for help usually as a last resort, but perhaps you can be proactive and ask that person if there is anything that you may help another person with. Maybe you have the resource that they've been praying for. StressLessSecrets & Blessings Nicky 9/11/2018 0 Comments Panic Attacks?The word "panic" comes from the Greek mythology "Pan". Pan was a goat/man who would hide in the woods and secretly scare those walking the trail by shaking the trees and would keep doing as the person would walk faster until they panicked and ran away. Pan got a kick out of these tricks. The folks who panicked and got scared never returned to the woods.
Panic often causes us to think irrationally, negatively, and catastrophically. As a person susceptible to stress, noises tend to startle me as well and I can only imagine that I would have been the one running far away too. Using my signature GPS System to keep moving I would have returned and been more prepared to overcome Pan and his shenanigans. Maybe I would not have gone back to those woods, but would have gone back for a walk to be with nature and been prepared for bushes to be shaken. I would recognize the physical symptoms coming on, the thoughts that I had when the sounds got faster and faster, and the responses that seemed automatic. The thing about panic is that it is contagious. When a person experiences high anxiety they keep attracting dramatic events that tend to be coming down upon us. Things that happen out of the blue and until the root is pulled out or the thoughts are taken control of it will continue to be a vicious cycle for those all around you. We often self-sabotage our self or those around us with this catastrophic way of thinking and feeling. Once you can gain control, you can then see things from a different perspective and become more grounded. Stop Pan from chasing you out of the woods by doing the following: 1) Write down the negative events that seemed to unfold as a result of your fears. 2) Rewrite them to be a positive learning experience. 3) Arm yourself with support, technology, back up plans to keep you feeling in control of your thoughts. 4) Suddenly the situation diffuses and it appears to be just like magic. The tides turn and the breeze blows just to cool you off instead of to destroy. 5) Let that past go, focus on being in your present, and prepared for the future, knowing that you can and will learn from everything. Nothing is a waste, nothing is too painful to learn from, and nothing is permanent. You can and will change your point of view and what you choose to run away from. Book your StressLessSecrets Session today.nicholyncoaching@gmail.com
8/28/2018 0 Comments 5 Reasons Why You Cannot QuitThis past Saturday, I was blessed to conduct StressLessSecretsMoney Bootcamp which is a prequel to StressLessSecrets Retreat 2018 Survivor Series. The attendees were awesome and so open to learning the content that I was able to share with them. Normally, I would celebrate or just head back and prop my feet up until whenever. It seems as though all of the things that my Coach, Kate, has been teaching me for the past 5 years is finally producing some of it's crop. I celebrated and then got back to taking more consistent action to keep the message from my mess flowing.
One of the attendees told us that she had read a post and really couldn't remember who it was from, but thought it was me since I had brought it up again. She stated that Facebook post was regarding the message of viewing bills as blessings and GETS to pay them instead of HAVING to pay them. I had no idea a) that she read it, b) that she implemented it, and c) that it was such a huge shift and she was so thankful. So today I give you 5 reasons why you should not quit (or celebrate too long): 1) Because what you have to say is so important to someone. Maybe you need to give the world time to come forward and speak up, maybe you won't hear the words from a stranger, but you have to believe that what you have put out there is impacting someone positively because it is! 2) Just when you want to quit, you dig deeper and the desire becomes an obsession. An obsessive desire makes one UNSTOPPABLE, UNSHAKABLE. 3) Time is going to pass and so what would you rather say: "I had all of the reason, the obstacles, the challenges, the justifications to quit, but I DIDN'T and my crops are producing:" or "I dug up all of the garden to try and replant at some other time". In the meantime your back starts to hurt from the heavy loads you've been carrying called regret. 4) Your subconscious needs time to catch up to your conscious. You underestimated how long it would take and so what if your investment hasn't shown a full return yet. When you decide that you are ready to put out as much as you can and stop making excuses, it's going to seem like a magical button was pressed and everything is falling into place. If you quit when you got tired instead of accepting that you are choosing to slow down or hitting roadblocks called resistance then you will never get another penny on that investment. Slowing down is much better than quitting because you can always pick up speed when you're ready. 5) You will not be able to learn the hard stuff and teach others if you quit. There is greatness in the pain so focus on coming out of that storm stronger than ever. Schedule your StressLessSecrets Session with me today. Nicky |
Nicky StansburyStress Management Life Coach, Nicky Stansbury teaches you how to respond to busy days so that guilt, procrastination, and stress are a thing of the past. |
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