StressLessSecrets
Motivational Messages that will Shift You From
People Pleasing
to Your Very Own Super-Power
People Pleasing
to Your Very Own Super-Power
Be bold and take action to get what you want. Have you ever noticed that things seem to go haywire when you decide to make changes? I'm talking about setting a goal and making a little progress and then the next thing that you know it's worse than it was! Let's say you decide you want to save money for the New Year. So you save for the first week maybe and then the next thing that you know is an unexpected expense pops up out of nowhere. You go into this whole story of why do these things happen to me? I just can't catch a break, etc. Well, being Bold shakes up your familiar and change brings challenges. Here are 5 Steps to Overcome the Plot twists when Being Bold has a strong hold. 1) DREAM BIG and put a date on it. (ACTION: write this down on paper, find images of what you are DREAMING BIG of and stick in your calendar) 2) Break it down into steps. (ACTION: Work your way from the end Dream and work your way backwards step by step, write this on paper) 3) Have done by dates next to each step (ACTION: write those as to-dos in your planner) 4) Reflect on each action step upon completion or being stumped at (ACTION: Write down what worked, what did not work, and where things went wrong) 5) Celebrate with a mini party for yourself at each step. (ACTION: Get you a couple of party favors just for you and throw your party for being BOLD!) GO YOU!!! <3 -N- StressLess & Blessings, Nicky Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets
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1/8/2019 0 Comments Be a Game ChangerBe a Game Changer I am so excited because I came up with a powerful little way to build my savings muscle. Savings was not something that I was taught because we were too busy surviving. I am the oldest of 6 girls and my parents had me at a very young age. My Mom was 17 and my Dad was 19. My sister right below me came when I was only 13 months. By many of life's plot twists I have learned the value and importance of a savings account. My money story has been a huge part of my life and it has been nothing short of chaos. I am a Game Changer. I am changing this not only for me, but for generations to come. Here's how: Every Tuesday I will deposit the amount of money that is equivalent to the number of the week we are on for the year. With consistent action at the end of 52 weeks which will be December 31, 2019 I will have successfully put $1,378.00 into my Savings Goal Account. This money is not intended for anything, but to save it. A savings account is the plan c of financial plot twists. My intention for this year is to build the muscle of saving, getting cozy with money in an account just for that purpose, and letting that become my comfort mode. My Comfort zone has been money chaos. If you want to join me in this challenge just send a quick message and I'll add you to my Small & Something Savings Group as well as the tracking sheet. It is never too late to start and the only that will happen if you wait is that you will regret this next year. StressLess & Blessings <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets 1/1/2019 0 Comments TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIMEYour imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions. --Albert Einstein You know that when we are stressed it is best to take it one day at a time to focus on the present and reduce the overwhelm. The problem is that many of my clients are living in the moment so much that they are running from one fire to another operating in that manner instead of in the manner of taking action for life's coming attractions. Yes, things will happen, but what would happen if you're imagination was so clear that you knew why and what action was best to move closer to that. The problem with one day at a time is that it keeps us only on that day and waiting for "we will see what today brings". As with everything in life, the ideas have both pros and cons and the stresslesssecret is to find the balance. Here are 5 Tips to StressLess by Focusing on One Day at a Time, but Acting to positive change your future. 1) Take a current problem that makes you feel that there's not enough of whatever it is and write it in a sentence on a sheet of paper. 2) Rewrite the sentence contrary to your sentence of 1). 3) Really feel what it would be like if 2) would be the reality right now. 4) List 3 Action Steps that you can take consistently until you see results from that action. 5) Be mindful about your present by observing the sights and sounds one by one. Now how does it feel to experience more calm, gotten your feel good endorphins rolling, and inspired a little imagination to be creative? With one day at a time you can take action to change your future. You can have more than enough money in the bank, you can have more than enough time, and you can have more than enough energy at the end of the day to be able to reflect upon how amazing your day was and cheers to tomorrow. StressLessSecrets & Blessings, <3 -N- Nicky Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets 12/25/2018 0 Comments PITY PARTY-TABLE FOR 1 PLEASE
12/11/2018 0 Comments My Cell is About to Die...g2gbThe cell phone battery is nearly dead! I gotta go, bye aka g2gb! OMGSH panic starts and where's the charger? As silly as that seems this is only one way that our Fear of Loss of Love shows up. If the battery dies then how will my loved ones get in touch with me (hello, you probably just tossed the actual human aside anyway to save the life of the batter), how will I answer immediately if my boss calls or text, how will I be the go-to person when my friend calls in need, or how will the call that I've been waiting for finally come in?
Other ways this fear of loss of love may show is not getting into relationships in the first place, clinging to those that you love so much that you nearly suffocate them, throwing others under the bus to side with the person who you fear losing their love most, and many, many other ways not listed here. On an extreme side of this fear other relationships will be destroyed just to ensure that the one you seek approval from is fulfilled. The fear of being abandoned by some leads to the price tag that one will be forced to pick sides. There will be a tug-o-war between strained relationships when one feels their love has been rejected or diminished. There may be challenges throughout families until someone says, enough of this, both of you kiss and make-up. This fear of loss of love is real, but can be lessened with confidence building skills and a sense of purpose/direction. Get out there and love as much as you can, but love yourself first then your cup will overflow without much effort. Keep your phone charged too to avoid experiencing the fear of it dying :) If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater. unknown Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life. Merle Shain StressLessSecrets & Blessings, <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets Recently, I read a Facebook status regarding how quick people are to condemn. The fact is, most of us have probably been guilty of doing it to others as well as receiving it from others. It is not fun either way. It is a challenge that many of us face in life and since Fear of Criticism is one of the 6 Basic Fears that we operate from, we are likely to attract this to our lives at least once in our life.
However, with increased emotional intelligence, faith, and spiritual maturity you can and will start responding to this differently. You are much more powerful when you can come from a place of: condemnations do not anger you, you do not have to defend yourself everywhere that you go, hiding from society if rumors are going around about you, having to apologize for your beliefs, actions, or blame games that you resorted to as a reaction. One of the most incredible feelings is not that you skate through life never being condemned or criticized, but instead to be able to understand why the other person went to that place anyway. Some of the challenges that I faced with this topic taught me that I am at the place in my journey where I do not get angry with others when they choose this reaction, but instead understand why they made the choices, actions, and path that they chose. How freeing it is to be condemned and still have compassion for that person. Does it mean that I allow them to do it repeatedly or that I am Mother Teresa? Absolutely not. It just means that no matter where I am or where they are, I am at peace. I do not feel anger towards another who chooses this reaction, but instead have a deep understanding that is the only thing they knew at the time. Yes, I have been on both ends. I used to get angry and stop talking to the other person when they falsely accused me of something or got mad at me for something that they believed I did. I also still have a ways to go with the way that I choose to handle hearing some of the things people point their fingers at me for, but my first response now is to come from a place of seeing ways that they could have gone to that place anyways. I choose to make peace no matter where I go. It is not my job to get anyone to see if from my side, but for me to see it from another person's side. That's my response. What's yours? Do not feel bad if you aren't there yet, but feel great that you do not have to stay there. Now that you know there is a better, happier, more peaceful way to deal with finger pointers then you can be more prepared for the challenges that you may face along your journey. It's sometimes better to learn about this when this isn't your issue right now, but the most effective transformation will happen if this is exactly what you are experiencing in your own journey. “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”– Dale Carnegie “Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.”– Neil Gaiman “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do.”– Benjamin Franklin StressLessSecrets & Blessings, <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets 11/27/2018 0 Comments 5 Questions that Find SolutionsTo every problem there is already a solution whether you know it or not. Grenville Kleiser I have no idea who Grenville Kleiser is, but brainyquote said that the above quote is something that he said. I guess I could do a google search later, but for now, here's what I want you to know...I do know there HAS TO BE A SOLUTION.
Often times we are so focused on the problems that we are facing or possible results that we do not want that we forget to focus on the solution or the something better that will arise from what we do want. When you have a problem and YOU WILL, ask yourself the following questions: What's my plan if... What can I use to get... Where will I put that... What will I get if... Who will I be if... The answers just might lead you to a solution and if the solution is not evident right now, you will at least have changed your focus which shifts your vibration and allows better things to come your way. StressLessSecrets & Blessings <3 -N- NIcky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets 11/20/2018 0 Comments Be Careful Who You Do This in Front OfOur subconscious is made up a zillion little versions of ourselves. One of the best way to counter perceived pain, scarcity of not being enough, fear of criticism, and many other negative dialogues that we tell ourselves is to tell ourselves more positives by using conscious action. Pick any of the following affirmations, put your hand over your heart, and repeat your choice at least 5 times today. Rinse and repeat daily. (preferably the first thing when you wake up and the last thing before you go to sleep) I am important I am smart I am a good friend I am kind I am loving I am grateful for my body I am brave I am courageous I am a good listener I focus well I have come a long way I get better every single day Today is a great day I enjoy new adventures Be careful who you do this in front of though and if you do it before checking the folks around you have this response handy, "Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice". StressLessSecrets & Blessings <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets At my core of existence is people pleasing, but that did not serve me positively for the most part. It caused a lot of stress, anxiety, decisions that went against my values and beliefs, and some other negative emotions/experiences. However, I have recently proclaimed to the world that my super-power from that core is PEACE-MAKER. That has been one of the greatest freedoms that I have given myself and those around me. If you are a people-pleaser at your core then here are a couple of quotes that do not try to make you change who you are, but own the superpower that has grown from it. The other types of super-powers are: Nurturer, Revolutionary, and Uplifter. As promised, here is your motivation.
“You're going to make it; You're going to be at peace; You're going to create, and love, and laugh, and live; You're going to do great things.” ― Germany Kent and “Raise your vibration, Not your tone of voice.. You gain inspiration, For Peace is a choice.” ― Ana Claudia Antunes, StressLessSecrets & Blessings <3 -N- Nicky Stansbury Stress Management Life Coach Founder La Palmera Spa #stresslesssecrets - |